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Things You Should Say to Your Partner Every Single Day
1. "HERE'S WHAT I REALLY WANT…"
So many people are romantically crippled by this weird idea that it's
somehow bad to tell people what you want, specifically if the person in
question is a man. Um, no. If what you want is to have your hair pulled
in bed, or have an exclusive relationship with the guy you've been
casually seeing for a few weeks, or to just have your partner of ten
years take the trash out on a regular basis, say so. Just open your
mouth and say it. No, it's not "too pushy" or "too needy," and in my
experience, men in particular seem to really appreciate being handed a
road map to your happiness. Nothing destroys a relationship like unmet
expectations that were never verbalized. If the success of a
relationship is contingent on your bottling up your feelings and
expectations, it's time to find a new one.
2. "I CHOOSE YOU."
A relationship is a choice that you make every day. How cool is that, to
keep picking each other over and over and over again, even though you
have to see each other's toothpaste spit in the sink and he has
definitely sleep farted on your leg? Letting one another know that
you're happy to have each other, and that being together is a choice you
have made, is romantic.
3. "I LOVE [INSERT VERY SPECIFIC AND SUBTLE QUALITY OF THEIRS HERE]."
Chances are, you know the highlights of why your person loves you:
you're smart, you're funny, you're a hot babe. But the best parts of
love grow in those quiet little places, like how he makes that weird
little face as he tries to open a jar of pickles for you, or how he
always knows the cardinal directions, even in a city he's never been in.
Those little ways you love someone are worth noticing, and worth
telling.
4. "I APPRECIATE YOU."
Eventually, relationships fall into a series of comfortable rhythms. He
makes the popcorn while you queue up Netflix. You make the coffee while
she wipes up the kitchen counters. He tucks the kids in while you put on
16 different face masks at night. All of these mundane things are
secretly so special: they're the basis of your relationship together,
the little things you'd miss about the other person should one of you be
hit by a bus or die of cancer. Whatever you appreciate about this
person, say it. And say it as often as you think it - it costs you zero
dollars and it's a great investment.
5. "HI, THAT HURT MY FEELINGS PLEASE DON'T DO IT AGAIN."
I mean, hopefully you don't need to say this one every single day, but
when the person you love hurts your feelings, you kind of need to tell
them. Life is short, so don't waste time holding onto small resentments.
Just get them out there, so the sun can destroy them like the little
relationship vampires that they are.
6. "I LIKE YOU."
Love is great and all, but liking someone is so much more important.
Liking someone is the best, and while saying "I love you" eventually
becomes a reflex you spit out before you end a phone call or leave the
house, reminding someone how much you like them is like reminding them
how much you appreciate them: a totally different level of admiration,
and one that's always worth reminding each other of.
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